Inside the Leeds day care centre helping families look after loved ones with Alzheimer's instead of care homes

Amanda Botterill, from Yeadon, can remember the day her mum, Margaret Bradford, received her alzheimer’s diagnosis. Despite Margaret showing symptoms of the condition for two years prior, Amanda said the diagnosis left them both “shell-shocked”.

Margaret then made her daughter promise to not send her to a care home. It was Margaret’s own first-hand experience as a carer seeing how dementia patients could be treated, being “locked-up” for her safety and for the safety of others, that led her to make this promise.

As her mother’s condition worsened, in line with the deteriorating nature of the disease, and without any experience in the care industry, Amanda began to struggle. She said: “I would take her out for lunch, say to Weatherspoons, and it was always a challenge because she wouldn't sit still, she wanted to wander around, talk to everybody.

"I used to find that difficult – to manage her behavior in a public place. I found it very difficult to see out places where it was comfortable to take mom out, where her challenging behavior wasn't being judged.”

At this time, her father Gerald Yeadon was his wife’s full-time carer. “My dad found it very difficult to accept the changes in my mom,” said Amanda. “He was heartbroken. I often feel that, looking back, he lost her as a wife long before she died. So his grief started right back at the beginning when she was diagnosed.”

While at first, Margaret just struggled to remember things, the situation escalated and Amanda and her dad would send out search parties to look for her mum. She also slowly became unable to do simple tasks such as making a cup of tea, using a piece of pork pie instead of a tea bag, juice instead of milk and the kettle left in the fridge.

Seeing the strain the disease had put on her dad, Amanda left her job and became her mum’s full-time housekeeper and personal carer too. Amanda said: “From waking to sleeping, you are in charge of that person, responsible for that person's needs and well being. And it's too much to ask.”

As Gerald fell ill and was hospitalised for a short while, Margaret had to stay in a care home for a respite visit. Amanda said: “She had made me promise not to put her into a care home. I appeased myself and my guilt by saying it's only temporary but she didn't have the best experience.”

After seeing her mum wearing someone else’s false teeth and someone’s else’s underwear, Amanda pledged to not let her visit a care home again. But looking after her mum full-time was taking a toll on Amanda too.

She said: “It was horrendous. I lost my life at that point – and that is crucial to mention, that people sometimes just give up their lives to look after their loved ones.